Who Do You Turn To When You Hit A Wall?

Speaker Christina Aldan .

I announced my upcoming campaign – Raising Awareness for Women in Tech – a couple weeks ago on BCN Talk Radio (Learn more about the GoFundMe project by clicking here. Please donate and/or tell all your friends to donate. Even $1 helps. Seriously. It really does. Every, single, dollar. We only have 10 days left before I might have to refund my current donors and cancel the trip.).

Towards the end of the show (listen to the BCN Talk Radio recording by clicking here), co-host, Robert Morgen noted my recent growth and development and asked for a suggestion to grow your business. My response was to “Take advice from people who are doing the work themselves.” By that I meant, you should look for people who emulate the qualities in the areas of life where you are most challenged and connect with them. The people who are on the path of self-awareness in are likely to have their own group of advisors, mentors and role models for you to indirectly benefit from as well. Another thing to consider; Often the people who are the most different from you are the ones who have the most to teach you.

I often talk about “building your tribe.” I choose to surround myself with people who are strong where I have the most room for growth. They have a lot to teach me and few of them are the same which gives me a broad, sometimes, opposing spectrum of viewpoints. I take the best parts and make them work in my life to give myself the best chance at a positive outcome.

These people are my own personal consults when I have an issue. I believe I have found to be the perfect blend of experts in areas where I am challenged. I believe in looking at issues from as many different angles as possible. A fresh perspective also helps; approaching the challenge with a beginner’s mind.

A fresh perspective helps while you are trying to overcome a challenge and I believe in gathering as many tools as possible, as efficiently as plausible. When it comes to problem-solving, that means getting different perspectives. I have a numerous teachers with whom I regularly consult, often in spurts, depending on what is happening in my life.

For example, I know that I must see “The One-Who-Guards-The-Portal-To-The-Earth” at least every 3 months for healing massage and philosophizing over why my heart aches for all the lonely hearts of the world. Her gift is her healing hands and her strong connection to a feeling of being grounded. She reminds me that I cannot save everyone and “quite frankly, who wants that job, anyway. I’ve got enough to take care of right here in my own backyard. Don’t you?” She has a way of reminding me that nurturing my body will allow my mind to continue to do it’s creative buzzing if I simply pause for an hour or two every now and again.

I have a mentor who holds far different views than me and embraces beliefs that conflict with many of my own. He has taught me so much of what I know about being an entrepreneur and keeping a team inspired. I am grateful for the financial lessons I have learned and and continue to learn from this teacher. Our conversations are usually professional because we respect each other too much to argue about values and core beliefs. There was a time when we debated homosexuality in my office for two and a half hours (that’s a huge compliment to him because I usually struggle to get past 2 minutes with most people). While we agreed to disagree in the end, it had zero effect on our professional relationship, because we both respect one another and our views on all things. We can maintain our differences and we can still like, respect and learn from one another.

Who do you take advice from when you are having a challenge that is difficult to overcome? Try to get answers from as many angles as possible, then make an informed decision. Sometimes that means transforming your belief system by releasing beliefs that no longer serve you.

This is how we grow.

Here is a near-complete list of the people I accept support from. These people help guide me and show me the way into my pain and out the other side:

The Astrologer
The Angel Incarnate
The Nurturer
The Genius
The Writer
The Lost Japanese Princess
The One-Who-Guards-the-Portal-To-The-Earth
The Christian (actually, I’ve got a few of these trusted teachers in my life.)
The Yogi
The Teacher
The Buddhist
The Jewish Chinese Medicine Doctor
The Sicilian Mermaid
The Businessman
The Brain-Based Guy
The Beatnik

They all contribute to shaping who I am and how I think and rethink my own perspectives, regardless of whether I accept any of their specific view into my value system or not. Sometimes, when comparing the input of different mentors, I might notice that the words and symbols are different, but the intention and the meaning are the same.

Diversity and Inclusion are as important today as they have ever been. When you respect another’s world view (I’m not saying you have to completely agree with their worldview), you form a deeper connection with them on a more humane level. You expand your ability to empathize.

How do you choose the people who support you? Look around at your own tribe. Are you consulting a broad range of thoughtful perspectives? Is it time to diversify?

If you would like to hear me speak more about diversity and inclusion at your next event, it’s simple: hire me by calling me 702.900.3419.